


Sword and Spear

by The_Exile



Category: Undertale (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game)
Genre: Community: 40fandoms, Geralt will screw anything vaguely humanoid and probably female, Multi, Spoilers, almost but not quite a pacifist run, mild explicit talk, sorry Flowey but I really do hate you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 22:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10500324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Exile/pseuds/The_Exile
Summary: Undyne is used to fighting against sociopathic mute children with no clue what's going on either, so she's not sure how to react to a fully grown, amorous Witcher.





	

Twirling like a dancer, sword in each hand, the human parried and knocked aside every single one of Undyne's rain of spears. The silver amulet around his neck began to vibrate even more furiously as he approached her, fixing her with yellow feline eyes, and the medallion's own eyes glowed red. She did not back away from his intense gaze but met his attack with two spears that she plucked out of the air as her magic summoned them. Flames played over one of her eyes. Something about this strange white-haired human was bringing out her inner reserves.

"Aard!" he yelled, extending one arm in front of him and arranging his fingers in some sort of gesture. He had already put down his steel sword in the same fluid movement, although his silver sword was still in his other hand. Before Undyne could tell what was going on, some sort of arcane energy radiated from the other hand, turning into a shockwave that knocked her backwards. She staggered, almost thrown off her feet. It was all she could do to bring both spears up in front of her face to protect herself. Without breaking stride, he swung the silver sword around, knocking away both spears, then casually tripped her up. She glared up at the man who held a sword to her throat, her eyes meeting his defiantly, daring him to bring down the finishing blow. 

"I can see you trying to reach for more spears. Don't, and I might spare you," he growled.

"A human can cast magic?" she asked, not bothering to dignify his promise with a response. She knew about humans and their promises already.

"I'm not exactly what you'd call an ordinary human," he admitted, a kind of tired humour in his voice, "This is what years of painful alchemical transformation and mutation will do to you."

"How many humans are there like you?"

"Not many, and we can't breed more," he admitted, "Not for lack of effort, mind you. That, and we do very dangerous jobs, like jumping into holes in mountains to deal with the local monster problem."

"So you're here to slaughter us all," she hissed.

"That was the original plan, but so far I've not had a need to. I have a thing against killing monsters if I don't have to, you see, as it's usually so much more profitable to make deals with them, talk about what exactly is giving them so much trouble living peacefully alongside humans," he said, "Especially when there's pretty female monsters involved."

"Asgore won't hear your nonsense. He'll mess up your pretty face with his trident."

He shrugged, "I've dealt with stubborn goats before."

"However did a joker like you get past Toriel?"

"Told her she baked nice pies and that I would never have guessed she already had a child."

"And Sans?"

"The skeleton who was asleep at the watchpost?"

"Never mind... Papyrus?"

"Fetched one of his shin bones back from a dog who ran off with it."

"And, dare I ask, Muffet?"

"Paid her. I'm not exactly hurting for money after the Gwent tournament. I mostly keep working because I don't have anything else to do with my life. A steady relationship just isn't working out for me, you know..."

"You really aren't like the other humans who come down here," she admitted, "You're not a child, for one thing. You certainly aren't quiet..."

"The monsters down here are certainly interesting, too. Was there really a bloody, protracted war with humans? I just can't imagine you guys handling it."

"It's mostly history by now. We're trying to claim our lives back now, re-emerge onto the surface."

"I wouldn't. The humans have bred like rabbits, and they're just as prejudiced as ever," he told her, "They abuse me for being different, too, and all I want is to make their women happy."

"Do you ever think about anything else?" she snarled.

"It's hard not to when you're chatting with a beautiful, fierce young warrior. Don't think blue skin and ears like a drowner will put me off," he warned her, "I've lain with dryads, vampires, succubi..."

"I don't like guys who point swords at me," she told him, "Or humans. Even mutated humans. And besides, I have someone I'm interested in already."

"It's okay, I'll share him," said another voice, quieter with a slight stammer. Geralt glanced behind him to see what appeared to be a lizard in a labcoat, "I get fanfic rights, though! And camera rights!"

"Alphys, get away! This man's dangerous and you're very, very embarrassing!" Undyne told her. Geralt had never seen a fish blush.

"Sounds fine with me," he shrugged, lowering the other sword. 

Silver swords were for monsters, steel swords were for humans who acted like monsters, but he had no idea what you used against monsters who acted more human than anyone in the entirety of Novigrad. However, his other 'sword' seemed quite keen to be used, and it hadn't failed him yet.

He would have brought flowers but he had cast Igni on the last one he saw when it started whispering at him and telling him to murder everyone.


End file.
